Why, Oh Why?
by Neko-chan4
Summary: It’s summer vacation at the School for Gifted Youngsters… It’s only expected that wild pranks, rude wake-up calls in the form of fuzzy blue elves, impromptu pool parties and general insanity should ensue—especially when there are teenage mutants i
1. Did I Stick Around For This Insanity?

Why, Oh Why… 

By Nichole (Neko-chan) Johnson

Written: June 2 – 3, 2003

Rated: PG-13 for language and plain old inappropriateness—bad me!

Disclaimer: Basically, I own nothing except for this fic.  Honestly, I rip off so many things in here; it's like lawyer paradise!  I'll try to note everything I ste—I mean, make homage to.  Yes.  So first off, I don't own the _X-Men (sob) or __X-Men: Evolution.  I tried to own Kurt, but he didn't seem too keen on the idea so I had to set him free for fear of getting on his 'No Like' list.  I hope the Prof. wiped his memory for that one…_

Summary: It's summer vacation at the School for Gifted Youngsters… It's only expected that wild pranks, rude wake-up calls in the form of fuzzy blue elves, impromptu pool parties and general insanity should ensue—especially when there are teenage mutants involved.

Each chapter will most likely be from different characters' POV, with perhaps random non-POV chapters thrown in there just to throw you all off.  I don't know.  I just don't feel like following a set pattern with this piece…

Author's Note: First off, I'd like to thank **Kiki**, **LeDiz**, and **InterNutter for inspiring this, especially ****LeDiz.  I got the title idea (with the chapters) from her, so I wouldn't want her to flip out and send me tons of cyber cows to fill up my inbox.  I love you, **LeDiz**!  DON'T COW ME, 'KAY??**

Anyway, to those of you I mentioned doing a silly fic to, I decided not to go with the Halloween idea.  I may save that for later, but I came up with something better when I started writing, and I hope you guys will find it worth reading.  I don't know why—it's a generally stupid, pointless, bad-joke filled piece of…uh, doody.  But I still wanna' do it.  I've had so many good ideas for Evo jokes and so forth recently and nowhere to put them!  Plus, I haven't written a 'crazy' fic in such a long time—it's been all serious, introspective and angsty stuff for about a year now.  I really needed to lighten up.

To all of my "Carol" readers, don't worry!  I still intend to update that regularly!  I had to sacrifice getting Chapter V out in order to get these first chapters of "Why" up & running, but I promise that it will get posted as soon as I get the chance!  I don't want "Carol" to take backseat to this fic just as much as you guys.  In the meantime, I hope you'll all give this piece a try, just for me (or out of morbid curiosity, I suppose)!

~          o          O          o          ~

Chapter 1: …Did I Stick Around For This Insanity? 

Summer vacation.  What a wonderful term.  Kitty savored the very thought of it, trying very hard to focus on such happy thoughts those two words should bring.  This year she would be spending most of it at the Institute with her friends; away from parents and studying and disappointment speeches.  She was going to spend the days lounging by the pool, and the nights hanging out at the mall and seeing movies with her friends.  It was going to be great.

But it was really hard focusing on the good points just now.  She had only just woken up—the first day of summer vacation—and already the insanity had begun.

_"IIIIIIIIIIIIII dream of Jeanie with the liiiiiight brown hair!!"_

"KUUUUUURRRRTTT!!!"

_"Waaaaaassss??!"_

A muffled thump came from somewhere in the hall, presumably from something small and blunt being thrown, followed by further muffled sounds like someone being less-than-graceful and colliding with a wall and then perhaps the floor somewhere.

Kitty tried in vain to bury her head further under her pillow against the noise but there was only so far one could go.

"Dude, some of us are trying to sleep!!"

"_Ja, und what's up with that?"_

There was a brief moment of silence, which Kitty didn't trust one bit, and then a rather loud thump from one of the rooms next door followed by a shout of indignation on Evan's part.

"Aaaggh!  What the—?!"

"Wakey-wakey, _mein freund!"_

"Dude, you are SO DEAD!!!"

Kitty groaned irritably as the argument moved rather loudly into the hall, where it was marked by even louder thumps and crashes than before, as well as angry shouting and a flurry of cheerful, German-inflected catcalls.  Up and down the hall, doors were slamming open and closed and more angry voices were joining in on the din, adding some rather colorful language to the mix.

Kitty peered hopelessly out from under her pillow.  The pile of bed clothes on her roommate's bed shifted, a pale hand emerging from beneath the mountain of covers to flop about on the floor in aimless exploration.

"Urrggh…" groaned Rogue irritably from somewhere beneath her covers, "Stupid little…squirrel-monkey…"  Her hand fell at last on several discarded items of clothing, snatching them up listlessly and disappearing back beneath the folds of her comforter.

_Probably wadding her ears with them_, thought Kitty.

"Gonna'…kill…'im…" was the Goth's last muttered remark.

Mentally, Kitty adamantly agreed.  Kurt may have been like her best friend, but there were just some things that couldn't be forgiven.

This being one of them.

Moaning to show her agreement, she rolled over beneath the covers, bringing her pillow down tighter around her ears.  Outside the room, familiar sounds of destruction indicated the use of powers joining the fracas.  If she had been what you'd call a 'normal' teenage girl, she might've thought a scene from _Star Wars was being enacted outside her door.  As it were, Kitty lived in a place where everyone defied the word 'normal' with a sense of pride, and the sounds coming from the hall were thought of as a normal occurrence, if not annoying._

THUNK–THUNK–THUNK!

She really wished Evan wouldn't throw his spikes around so carelessly.  She was pretty sure Logan wished so even more.  Patching 'spike holes' was definitely one of his least favorite responsibilities.

The next sound, a loud BAMF!, caused her to groan aloud, however.

"Kuuurt!" she wailed pleadingly, still buried beneath her pillow.  "Like, get out!  You guys are _not trashing our room!"_

She didn't need to look up from where her head lay buried beneath her pillow to know the blue mutant was grinning like a madman.  He was _always_ grinning like a madman in these sorts of situations.

"Aw, _bitte, mein fraulein!_  Sanctuary!" he proclaimed dramatically.  She heard a loud click, presumably the door being locked, and then he leaped nimbly onto the end of her bed, bouncing it slightly with his weight.  "Is this not a house of God?!  I seek sanctuary!"

"Well seek it somewhere else before my hands seek out your neck…" came Rogue's muffled threat from within the mountain of covers and clothing covering her bed.

His weight disappeared suddenly from Kitty's bed—to which she was eternally grateful—and she heard Rogue's squeal and then growl of annoyance as he moved onto the Goth's.

"Ah, _mein_ Rogue!  Sunshine!  _Liebling!  Guten Morgen, mein schatz!"_

A tense pause.  Kitty visibly cringed in anticipation.

"Kurt, get your fuzzy blue butt off my bed before I hurt you in more ways than you can spell…"

"And a bright sunshiny day to you too, _fraulein,_" was Kurt's nonplus reply.  Loudly, he kissed the top of the pile of blankets, ignoring the noises of disgust and objection that came from beneath them and then leaped nimbly to the floor.

Kitty was slightly different in her methods; finally pulling her head out from beneath her pillow and fixing him with her most famous and powerful pout.

"Kurt, like, pleeeease?  Let us sleep—its like, the first day of summer vacation!"

"And there is much fun to be had!" he exclaimed cheerfully.  "So come on!  Upsy-daisy, sleepy-heads!"

And as Kitty had foreseen, loud pounding broke out on her door.

"Found him, you guys!" came Evan's voice triumphantly, and then, "Dude, we know you're in there!  Just give it up already!"

"All signs point to no!  Try back tomorrow!"

The door handle jiggled violently, but remained locked, much to Evan's obvious annoyance.

"Dude, you are one dead elf when I get in there!  Come on, Kit—open the door!  You know you want us to kill him!  Rogue?!"

"ALL OF YOU GO AWAY!!!" was Rogue's angry reply, tossing her head out of the covers to glare furiously at the door and then at the blue mutant who was now hanging lotus style from the ceiling; face the very picture of innocence.

"As soon as we get the elf!" chimed in Jubilation's voice angrily from the hall, followed by a chorus of 'yeah's and 'that's right!'

Kitty decided she was fed up with it all.  Angry determination on her face, she threw the covers aside and climbed out of bed.  "Alright, Fuzzy.  It's come to this."

Pale eyes blinked guilelessly at her from the ceiling.  She couldn't help but think how much like a harmless, fuzzy blue elf he looked in that position; like a guiltless little kid.  Even so, she wasn't about to go soft.  This was something that needed to be done, she reminded herself.

Small white fangs shown in a disarmingly charming grin.  "Oh?  _Was ist das, Katzchen?"_

Kitty's grin wasn't quite so endearing.  In fact, in more resembled pure evil.

He was almost caught off-guard by the well-aimed pillow.  With a small yelp, he flipped nimbly out of the way of the missile, righting himself in mid-air and landing in a crouch in the far corner.

"Oh, now I'm in for it," he muttered with a cheeky grin.

"Oh, you bet!" she confirmed, taking aim once again with another pillow.

Those out in the hall fell silent momentarily, listening curiously to the shouts and muffled thumps coming from the other side of the door in silent anticipation.  With an unexpected jolt, something heavy fell against the door; and crying out in surprise, the spectator mutants jumped hastily back, eyeing the door warily.

"You wouldn't…" Kurt was saying warily from where he stood, pinned against the door in mock terror.  The trademark devil-may-care grin was still on his blue face.

Curling her fingers threateningly, Kitty continued to advance on him, an evil grin of her own on her usually sweet face.

"Better believe it, Fuzzy."

She pounced, laughing evilly as he cried out in objection.  And with the pretense of a playful push, she phased and shoved him unceremoniously backwards through the door…

…And right into the midst of a glaring and evilly grinning pack of young mutants.

"Heh-heh. Hey, guys…"

Grinning smugly to herself, Kitty dusted off her hands and turned indifferently from the sounds of carnage that ensued from the other side of the door; and sighing happily, crawled thankfully back under her covers for some of that much-deserved sleeping-in she had been so hoping for.

Ah, bliss…

From underneath her mountain of covers, Rogue grunted thankfully.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

*           *           *

When the two girls had finally dragged themselves out of bed and down to breakfast, much of the mansion was already there, looking somewhat worse for the wear.  Along one end of the table, Evan, Rahne, and Jubilee sat in grumpy silence, every so often shooting angry glares in Kurt's direction, who for his part sat contentedly packing it in as if there were no tomorrow.  On the other side, Jean and Scott shared patient expressions; Scott occasionally shaking his head disapprovingly, but for the most part, ignoring the silent quarrel going on across from them.  The rest of the newer mutants sat scattered amongst the two groups, looking perfectly content and unaware of the morning's events.  Or pretending to be, at least.

If Kitty hadn't known any better, she would've sworn there was an almost amused smile tugging at the corner of Jean's lips.  Occasionally, she'd glance in Kurt's direction, and Kitty got the distinct impression she was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Hey there, half-pints," grunted Logan in absent greeting from where he sat at the near end of the table with the other instructors.  Ms. Monroe and Mr. McCoy looked up from their own places, smiling pleasantly in greeting.

"Good morning, Kitty.  Rogue," greeted Professor Xavier from the table's head, brown eyes sparkling with what appeared to be amusement.  He had an expression very similar to Jean's on his kindly face.

Kitty couldn't help but smile a bit at the idea of the Professor finding Kurt's antics amusing.

"Morning," greeted Kitty somewhat cheerfully, heading towards Kurt's end of the table.  It was the only section of the table not yet occupied, after all, other than one untaken spot next to Scott and Jean.

Rogue merely grunted at the greeting, taking said empty seat beside the two eldest students.

Sliding into a chair next to the blue elf, Kitty shot him a somewhat smug smile.  "You 'n the others have fun, Fuzzy?"

"Traitor," was all he replied, giving her a mock glare.

Kitty just grinned and began to fill up her plate.

At the head of the table, the Professor cleared his throat slightly, steepling his hands before him on the table; a warm smile still on his face.

"Now that you're all here, I'd like to announce a few things," he began.  Everyone looked up from their plates expectantly, even Kurt, who very rarely turned his attention from his food.

"To those of you who will be leaving us and spending the summer with your families, we will surely miss you here at the Institute.  I wish you all a relaxing vacation.'

In regards to your departure, please gather on the front lawn by the fountain after breakfast.  Storm and Logan will be waiting there to take you all to the airport and bus stop in the Institute van."

Glancing around at the gathered students, his eyes glittered knowingly.  "I hope none of you will cause any problems for them."

The newer mutants squirmed uncomfortably under the sudden gazes of the staff and a few of the older students; Jamie looking particularly lacking in innocence.

"As for the rest of you," continued the Professor, bringing their attentions back around, "I hope you will all keep the rules in mind over the next several months so that we may enjoy a pleasant vacation."

Kurt began diligently stuffing his face once again, ignoring the sudden glares that were once again shot in his direction.

The Professor smiled again, knowingly.  "That's all for now.  However, I would like to see all of you older students who will be staying for the summer in the library this evening.  There is something I'd like to discuss with you."

"In the meantime, enjoy yourselves.  You have the run of the mansion."

It was clear that Kitty wasn't the only one amused by the worried expressions on Logan, Storm, and Mr. McCoy's faces.  Almost all of the younger students were looking particularly mischievous after those words.

Kurt was grinning wolfishly as he looked up from his plate.  "In other words, 'go wild', my students…" he murmured mischievously.

Kitty merely raised her brows slightly, not bothering to look up from her own plate.

"You sure have a way with twisting words."

"It's not 'twisting', _mein gut fraulein_, it's 'interpretation'…"

*           *           *

"Like, be thankful you don't have to stick around here, Jean.  It's gonna' be a madhouse."

The telepath smiled in amusement.  "Isn't it always?"

The two girls, along with Rogue, were standing by the elaborate fountain just as the Professor had instructed, the Institute van parked nearby; doors thrown open invitingly.

All of the students who were supposed to be leaving, sans Jean, were decidedly absent, however.

Kitty cocked her head slightly, seeming to indicate the loud noises coming from the backyard with a wry expression.  "Yeah, well, without school to hold anyone in check, I've got a feeling everyone's really gonna' cut loose around here, y'know?"

Rogue rolled her eyes darkly, looking her usual state of sour.  "And we all know who's gonna' be leadin' _that_ parade…"

All three girls shared a knowing glance.  "Kurt," they all remarked dryly, in perfect unison.

Jean grinned again, looking supportively to Kitty.  "Hey, I'm sure you'll keep him in check like you always do."

The brunette looked suddenly despondent.  "Is it always up to me?!  Like, I wanna' have a vacation, too, y'know!"

"Jean!  Jean, wait up!"

All three looked up towards the mansion, to spot Scott hurrying desperately towards them, looking as if he were in a great rush.  Jean smiled warmly upon spotting him, and Rogue and Kitty shared a knowing glance; the shadow of sly grins on their faces.

"I'm so glad you're still here!" exclaimed the leader of the young X-Men, panting slightly as he caught up to them.  "I thought you might've left already."

More secretive grinning from Kitty and Rogue, as Jean looked suddenly shy.

"Nope.  I think Logan's still trying to round up some of the newer recruits," exclaimed the redhead, clutching her overnight bag nervously.  "So…still here."

Scott grinned sheepishly, clutching at his neck.  "Uh, that's great…I…"

"Like, have fun this summer, okay, Jean?" interrupted Kitty hastily, beginning to sidle away.  "We'll see you in a few weeks, alright?"

She grabbed Rogue's sleeve pointedly, tugging the Goth along with her, who grinned knowingly.

"Uh, yeah.  See ya, Jean…" she added slyly, following Kitty towards the house.

"Thanks, you guys," the redhead called after them, avoiding Scott's gaze in embarrassment and waving after the two of them.  "Bye!"

Once they were out of earshot, Rogue shook her head in dismay, grimacing slightly.  "Never thought I'd say this, but its reeeeally gonna' suck around here without Miss Popular around."

"Why is that?" quipped Kitty curiously, jumping hastily out of the way as several of the younger mutants streaked by, embroiled in a minor power battle.

"Don't you get it?" drawled the Goth, glaring after the mutants in annoyance.  "Scott's going to be a royal buzz-kill without her around.  I sure don't wanna' put up with that all summer…"

"Huh…" mulled Kitty thoughtfully, phasing instinctively as one of Ray's power beams shot in her direction.  "I see what you mean…"

Rogue ducked quickly, glaring after the laughing mutants.  "Hey, watch it!" she snapped after them angrily.

Kitty couldn't help but grin a bit.  "I don't think Scott's our biggest problem, though."

Rogue snorted irritably.  "No kidding.  Remind me ta hide in our room for the rest of the summer…"

Kitty giggled.  "No prob."  She frowned suddenly, looking after the trio of younger mutants thoughtfully.  "Isn't Amara supposed to be heading home for vacation?"

"Yeah.  I sure don't envy Logan none right now."

"Hunh.  Wonder where he is, anyway?  I'm not hearing any screams of terror coming from the mansion."

Rogue crossed her arms with disinterest.  "Give 'im a few minutes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off ta find the quietest corner in this place to hole up for the next month or so…"

"Good luck," scoffed Kitty with a grin.  "I think I'm gonna' check out the pool."

*           *           *

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  I don't wanna' goooooooo!!!"

Jamie was wailing at the top of his lungs, flailing his arms like a madman as he ran.  Several of the younger mutants cheered him on as he ran past, only falling silent when the severe-looking man hot on his tail went by, glaring fiercely enough to render a person immobile.

It seemed not to be working on his quarry, however, who continued to dash willy-nilly about the yard.

"Knock it off, squirt!  It's time to get in the car, already!" growled the Wolverine irritably, trying to remain as dignified as possible while chasing after the wailing youth.  His hands clenched absently, just barely controlling the urge to release his claws in his frustration.

Babysitting was definitely not his thing.

"But I don't WAAAAAANT TOOOOOOO!!!" cried the youngest X-kid in reply, narrowly avoiding a tree.  "I wanna' stay with the others!!"

Logan released a breath he hadn't known he was holding, thanking his lucky stars for how close he had been to having to chase after six Jamies instead of one.

"Kid, if you don't come with me right now, you _will_ be staying with the others!" he growled fiercely, sounding exasperated.  "You'll have so many chores and Danger Room sessions, you won't see a spot of sunshine all summer!"

_Well, there's __Logan…thought Kitty wryly as she came upon the scene, having changed into her swimsuit; a towel over one arm._

"How long has he been chasing him?" she asked to no one in particular, laying out her towel on one of the patio chairs.

"Dunno'," replied Bobby with a shrug from the pool, where he had his arms resting on the ledge, watching the spectacle with idle interest.  "Jubes guesses it's been half-an-hour, at least."

"GET IN THE VAN!!" bellowed Logan suddenly, breaking through the idle speculations of the onlookers.

His command was rewarded by Jamie slipping on the patio in his haste to escape; landing on his butt and adding three other Jamies to the chase.

All four took off in separate directions, and Logan stopped his chase momentarily to give a primal cry of aggravation.

"Poor Mr. Logan," sympathized Kitty absently, settling down in her chair.

There was a loud BAMF! behind her, and a pair of furry blue hands fell over her eyes.

"Feh.  He'll catch Jamie eventually," quipped a pleasant, German-inflected voice in her ear.  "Guess who?"

"Like, Evan, you've got a terrible case of hairy palms," remarked Kitty in all seriousness.  "You might wanna' look into that…"

The hands disappeared, and Kurt grinned wryly at her over her shoulder, quirking a brow in amusement.  "He's also got less of a sense of humor than you, Katzchen," he commented sardonically.

Kitty rolled her eyes at him.  "Gee, I wonder why…?"

The blue mutant merely flashed her one of his infamous thousand-watt grins, fangs 'n all, and came out from behind her chair.

"And speaking of zhat wonderful, understanding friend of mine, you haven't happened to see him around here lately, have you, _fraulein?_" he queried curiously, taking a seat on the edge of her chair.

"Isn't he supposed to be heading home today, too?" Kitty asked, nudging him slightly with her foot.

"_Ja._  Zhat's why I'm looking for him."

He pointedly ignored her attempts to remove him from her chair.

"Well if he's following the example of the others, he's probably around here somewhere hiding from Mr. Logan," was her reply.  She gave up trying to shove him off her chair, knowing it was pointless.

So she tried asking him, instead.

"You gonna' get off, now, or are you just going to keep blocking my sun like that, huh, Fuzzy?"

"Mmm, the latter," he grinned, angling himself slightly so his shadow fell over her even more. 

"Must…protect…_mein Katzchen from…UV…rays…!"_

She rolled her eyes at him, relinquishing her position momentarily to shove at him in annoyance.  "Get out of here, you dork!"

"_Ach_, no, not the sun!  Keep your rays to yourself, you cheeky knave!"

"Kuuuuurt!"

"Alright, alright!" he objected amidst amused chuckling, holding up his hands in surrender.  "But someone's got to protect you from the sun."

He raised a bottle of suntan lotion for her to see, wrapped in his tail, and raised one brow devilishly.  "Want some help, _liebchen?"_

Kurt jumped quickly away, narrowly avoiding the angry swipe she made at him with a smug grin.  He was distracted quickly by something far out on the lawn, heading towards the van that was still parked out front to take those mutants heading home away.

"Ah, there's Evan now!  Maybe next time, _ja?"_

Tossing her a quick wink and the bottle of suntan lotion, he disappeared in a sudden burst of smoke and brimstone.

With a relieved sigh, Kitty leaned back in her chair.  "Dork…"

But she was silently amused, as always.  She hated his ability to do that to her.

Out on the lawn, the four Jamies fell over in exhaustion, allowing a furious Logan to herd them in a dejected group towards the van at last; the genetically altered man growling obscenities under his breath and promises of punishment the whole way.

"Bye, Jamie!" called out Bobby cheerfully from the pool, several of the other younger mutants chorusing him.

"Give 'em hell back home, squirt!" shouted Jubilation supportively, shooting off a small shower of sparks over her head as she waved.

Yes, summer vacation had definitely begun…

~          *           ~

TO BE CONTINUED… (WHY, OH WHY?)

*

**~ Kurt's _Wunderbar Glossary of German ~_**

_bitte_ – please

_Liebling_ – darling; favorite

_Guten Morgen, mein schatz_ – Good Morning, my treasure

_Was ist das_ – What is that

_Liebchen_ – sweetheart

**References, Homage's, etc. –**

_"IIIIIIIIIIIIII dream of Jeanie with the liiiiiight brown hair!!"_ : I guess this could be considered a very obscure reference to a wonderfully insane anime called _Elf Princess Rane_, which I will probably continue to reference in the future just because it's so chock-full of good gags and lines.  Of course, the song is a real song—I just don't know who sings it or any more of the words.

_"Sanctuary!"_ : slight reference to Disney's _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_, although claiming sanctuary isn't exactly a copyrighted practice.

_"And a bright sunshiny day to you too, _fraulein_,"_ : reference to lyrics from an old, old, song called "I Can See Clearly Now" by Jimmy Cliff.

_…glaring fiercely enough to render a person immobile_ : hee-hee, another obscure, almost-reference to an anime.  This one's an old joke I have with my friends based off of one of the attack techniques used on _Pokemon_, called 'Glare'.  When a Pokemon uses this attack, it's supposed to freeze their opponent.  Hence the joke about glares being strong enough to render a person immobile.

~~~

Well, that's all for now!  Hope you'll all be kind and rewind!  Er, I mean, read and review!  (But do the former, too, because it's annoying when you rent a video and it's not rewound.)

Until next time!  (Urrgh, hopefully next chapter will be better…)

~Neko-chan


	2. Do I Put Up With These Guys?

Why, Oh Why… 

By Nichole (Neko-chan) Johnson

Written: June 3 – 6, 2003

Rated: PG-13 for language and plain old inappropriateness—bad me!

Disclaimer: I don't own the _X-Men_ (sob) or _X-Men: Evolution.  And most unfortunately of all, I don't own Kurt. *sniffles sullenly*_

Summary: It's summer vacation at the School for Gifted Youngsters… It's only expected that wild pranks, rude wake-up calls in the form of fuzzy blue elves, impromptu pool parties and general insanity should ensue—especially when there are teenage mutants involved.

Author's Note: In my world, the events of this fic take place at the end of season 2, but only timeline-wise; the events at the end of season 2 did NOT happen…or at least not yet.  Kitty and Lance are still on the off, though (just like they are at the beginning of season 3) as are Kurt and Amanda over some argument.  (Heh-heh, wonder what I'm leaving that open for…?)  But anyway, if I mention either of their current non-dating statuses, that's where it came from—my own little world.  Most of the events of season 2 are moot unless mentioned.  Alternate dimension—you can do that.

~          o          O          o          ~

Chapter 2: …Do I Put Up With These Guys? 

It was the first day of summer vacation.  And Scott was miserable.

He watched the van disappear through the gates, waving half-heartedly after Jean's smiling face in the window; feeling like his stomach had fallen into his shoes.

[Scott, cheer up,] came the redhead's voice suddenly in his head, trying to sound reassuring.  [It's only a few weeks.]

He smiled weakly, even though she was too far away to see it by now.

[I'm fine.  I was just worried about how insane it's going to be around here in that time.]

He could practically see her smile in his head.  [Right,] she replied, sounding not at all convinced.  [You'll handle it.  So just have fun.]

[Of course.  See ya, Jean.]

But he was still standing there when the van had long since disappeared down the drive and the street, staring dismally after her smile, still warm, in his head.

He hated summer vacation.

"Scott?!  Dude, snap out of it!"

And he was jarred roughly from his pouting.  Quite literally, actually.  Someone was shaking him with surprising ferocity.

"Whoa!  Alright, alright!" objected the tall, shades-sporting mutant hastily, hurrying to wrest his arm from his assailant's grasp.  "Lay off already, Kurt!  I'm out of it!"

He turned to glare dryly at the over-exuberant German.  "Was that really necessary?"

In reply, the younger mutant grinned up at him slyly.  "Apparently.  I called your name like fifty times, man."

He cocked his head slightly and raised a brow, grin turning into a leer.  "Off in dreamland?"

Scott promptly turned about six different shades of red, and then turned sharply on his heel, heading back towards the mansion with stiff strides.

"Where're you going?" Kurt called after him, still sounding amused.

"Danger Room," was Scott's curt reply, not bothering to turn around.  "I've got some training to catch up on."

Somewhere behind him, Kurt chuckled good-naturedly.  "Man, you need to lighten up!  It's summer vacation!  Time to cut loose!"

"That's what I'm afraid of…" muttered Scott worriedly, as the blue mutant ported away to cause lord knows what mischief.

It was going to be a long month…

*           *           *

The mansion was like a tomb.  It seemed that the majority of the students were outside, taking advantage of the good weather.  Screams and faint echoes of laughter from the backyard seemed to attest to that theory.

Scott couldn't help but release a thankful sigh of relief.  Silence, at last.

Just as he liked it.

He was walking past the rec room, on his way downstairs towards the Danger Room after stopping in his room for his uniform, when he spotted Rogue; curled up in a chair with a book.

_Guess I'm not the only one who enjoys a little silence_, he thought wryly, stopping momentarily in the doorway, an idea occurring to him.

_It couldn't hurt…_

"Hey, Rogue."

The Goth looked up in surprise, ready to glare at whoever had disturbed her peace.  She seemed to relax slightly when she saw that it was Scott; though if anything, she looked a bit surprised.

"Oh, uh…hey, Scott," she muttered absently, eyes flicking back to her book.  "Jean 'n the others finally manage to escape the Madhouse, I assume?"

Scott nodded, moving further into the room.  "Um, yeah…"

He frowned a bit.  She was already buried intently in her book once again.

He decided to attempt it, anyway.

"Hey, I'm headed down to the Danger Room for a run," he began, gesturing in the direction with an arm, "You wanna' join me?"

Her green eyes tore momentarily from the book in front of her to raise a brow at him incredulously.

"You do realize its summer vacation, right?" she queried dryly in that warm, southern drawl of hers.

What was it with everyone reminding him on that?

"Just because its summer doesn't mean we have to slack in our training," was his somewhat curt reply.

Rogue continued to stare at him with that sidelong, dubiously disinterested expression of hers.  After a moment, he sighed heavily, shaking his head lightly.

"I'm taking that as a 'no', then…" he muttered, heading back into the hall.

And as he was walking away, he thought he heard her mutter something about 'it' beginning.  Whatever 'it' was.

What was it with these people and summer vacation, anyway?  By the way they acted, one would've thought it was a time to slack and goof off.

Scott shook his head hopelessly.  Well, if no one was going to join him, he was just going to have to train by himself.  He could do that.  There were plenty of Danger Room simulations that were good for that.

"Hmm, this one should do…" he murmured decisively to himself, selecting a sim from the computer display.  Grinning grimly to himself, he set up the simulation, watching it appear over the wide expanse of the Danger Room with satisfaction.  Making sure everything was properly set up for a one-man run, he headed downstairs into the arena.

He was on the Institute grounds, and it was night.  Pale moonlight and the faint glow from the mansion's great windows was all that lit the area.

The sim was so realistic; he could even hear the loud chirruping of crickets and the faint murmurs of the fountain.

The senior X-man readied himself, hand poised at the beam regulator on his visor.  He knew this simulation like the back of his hand, but the good thing about it was it tended to change, so it was always good to stay en guard.

After several brief moments of scanning the grounds, a bit of movement caught his eye.  Reacting instinctively, the X-man whirled in the direction of the disturbance, firing a brief warning shot into the brush.

In response, his attacker gave a small scream of surprise, hopping awkwardly out of the bushes and attempting escape.

Giving chase, Cyclops shot another optic blast in Toad's direction.

The training exercise had begun.

Within several minutes, he had defeated the first of the Brotherhood, as two more of the mutant thugs appeared from the simulated forest.  Avalanche and the Blob were slightly harder to defeat, especially when double-teamed.  He had always had some difficulty at this point in the simulation.

But after about ten minutes or so, he had defeated those two as well.  He saw a flash of silver and blue out of the corner of his eyes.

Quicksilver was up next.  Here was the real challenge.

Jaw set grimly, the X-Men leader slowly and carefully scanned the surrounding grounds, body tensed for combat.  Another flash of silver-blue, to his left.  He fired instinctively, but the speedy mutant had already disappeared.

Damn, but he hated this part of the simulation.

"Maximoff, show yourself!  Let's settle this!" he yelled challengingly, hoping the simulation would respond.

And it did.  Just not in the way he had expected.

He was suddenly looking at the world from the wrong side up.  Something had him by one ankle and was dangling him quite easily off of the ground.

Cyclops frowned.  He thought he had knocked the Blob out already…

He angled himself in his unknown attacker's grip, trying to aim his visor at his assailant in order to free himself, and found himself facing…

"A squirrel?!"

A giant, armored squirrel, to be more exact.  And it still had him by the ankle.

"What the—?!"

He twisted, kicking out with his free leg at the bizarre creature.  Aiming his beam regulator, he shot a small optic blast at the creature's hand.

The squirrel squealed in surprise, dropping him unceremoniously to the ground.

Cyclops recovered his legs as swiftly as possible, backing up from the simulated creature in disbelief.  He scowled furiously.

"Alright!  Who's been messing with the simulator?!" he yelled angrily to no one in particular, becoming annoyed.

"When I find out who—Aaagh!!"

He was definitely caught off-guard by the blast of fire that shot suddenly at him, though he reacted in time enough to jump away in startled disbelief.

Scratch that first observation.  Make that a giant, armored, flame-breathing squirrel.

Somebody was _definitely_ getting it, now…

All thoughts of revenge were cut short, however, as the squirrel shot another blast of fire in his direction, and the X-man was forced to make a hasty retreat.  The fire-breathing squirrel immediately gave chase.

"SHUT IT OFF, SHUT IT OFF!!"

After another minute of desperate flight around the Danger Room, the troublemaker in the control room apparently complied, for first the scenery and finally the giant, fire-breathing squirrel faded into nonexistence.

Cyclops came to a relieved halt, hands on his knees as he tried to regain his breath.

He was suddenly aware of laughter coming from the control room, echoing softly into the Danger Room chamber itself.

The X-Men leader's head shot up angrily in recognition, shooting a dark glare in the direction of the control room.

"KURT!!"

A jaunty, three-fingered salute from the window was his only reply.

*           *           *

"Come on, man!  You have to admit, it was pretty funny."

Scott's expression was severe.  He was clearly not amused.

"Messing with the Danger Room simulator is not a laughing matter, Kurt.  You should be glad Logan wasn't around to do the punishing."

The blue mutant grinned devilishly from his perch.  "Aw, you're just grumpy because you nearly lost to a squirrel…"

Scott made a face of apoplectic outrage.  "I am not gru—I was _not_ losing."

Kurt merely nodded, turning back to his task with a pleased grin.  "Oh, you were."

"I was not!  I—I was in total control!"

"Zhen running was in your plan?"

"Yes it—"  The older mutant paused, frowning darkly at the look of continued amusement on his companion's face.  "Shut up, Kurt."

Said mutant continued to smirk, shooting Scott a sly look from his perch on the X-Jet's hull.  "You think I should tell the others about how you nearly lost to a giant rodent?"

Now it was Scott's turn to grin.  His grin was decidedly lacking in humor, however.

"Do it and you'll be cleaning this entire hangar," he warned in a no-nonsense tone.  His red-quartz shades glinted menacingly in the dim light.

Kurt saluted cheekily with his waxing cloth.  "Touché.  You drive a hard bargain, _Herr_ Summers."

Seeing as how Logan and Storm were away for the time being, Scott had taken it upon himself to punish the mutant prankster for messing with the Danger Room.  He figured, as the leader of the young X-Men, it was his right to mete out punishment to those who broke the rules, in the event of their instructors' absences.  And he figured that waxing the X-Jet was pretty standard for a stunt such as this.

As much of a troublemaker Kurt could be, the exuberant mutant was used to the repercussions, and had readily complied with little complaint on his part.  Any complaining was more for the sake of principle, rather than a real argument over his punishment.

There was brief silence in the hangar as Kurt fell back to his task with surprising dedication, and Scott allowed his mind to wander in his usual moody fashion.

"…going to have to teach you how to lighten up this summer, _mein freund," Kurt's voice broke into Scott's thoughts after a moment._

The older mutant blinked slightly; an action that went unnoticed, hidden beneath his thick shades.

"Uh, what was that?" he stammered somewhat, pulling himself back to the present.

"It's like you're regressing, man!" exclaimed Kurt, woefully dramatic.  "All my influence and careful training—gone!"

"Dude, what are you talking about?" queried Scott in confusion.

"You!" replied the younger mutant, gesturing severely with his rag.  "You've turned into Military Man again—Commando; our very own modern Major-General; _heil, mein Fuhrer!"_

The older mutant scowled.  What was with everyone telling him to lighten up, lately?  He wasn't really that uptight.

…Was he?

"Kurt, aren't you being a little over-dramatic?" he prompted, raising a brow.  "I'm just trying to keep us on our toes.  Just because its summer vacation, doesn't mean we should be lax in our training.  As the X-Men, we have to be—"

Kurt threw down his rag with a frustrated sigh, pale eyes turned heavenward in dismay.

"See?  There you go again!" he exclaimed with a huff, sounding exasperated.  "_Mein Gott un Himmel, Scott, but ease off with the battle speech for just a bit!  Do you realize that it's the first day of summer vacation, and while the others are outside soaking up some fun-in-the-sun by the pool, you and I are having this silly argument in a dark, musty old hangar and _I'm waxing the X-Jet?"__

A sigh from Scott.  Well, he supposed the argument had to come at some point…

"Hey, you know the rules.  Mess with the Danger Room simulator and you've got X-Jet waxing duties."

"How I factor into this is beside my point," countered Kurt shortly.

Sliding his legs out from under him, he perched himself more comfortably on the nose of the Blackbird; swinging his legs idly in front of him while leaning forward slightly on his forearms to peer at Scott pointedly.

"I'm missing Kitty in her bathing suit for this, so you better listen," he exclaimed with mock severity.

Scott crossed his arms, preparing for the worst, but gave the younger mutant his full attention.  "Alright, I'm listening.  But like I said, it's your own fault you're waxing the X-Jet instead of goofing off with the others."

"Dude, it's a two-piece!  Have you no heart?"

Scott merely glared at him to continue.

Kurt grumbled momentarily, a comically dark expression on his usually cheerful face, then brushing it off, turned back to address him with surprising seriousness.

"Anyway, it's only recently you've been like this," he began, peering down at the other through fathomless, yellow eyes, "So I'm wondering, is this about a certain someone going home for the summer?"

The X-leader continued to glare up at him, though he seemed slightly shocked by the observation.  He hadn't thought it had been that obvious.  And to have Kurt of all people point it out to him.

He wasn't sure how he should react to this.  He settled for blushing slightly, turning away from the younger mutant's gaze to scowl irritably.

He was somewhat relieved—not to mention surprised—when the blue mutant didn't burst into laughter or crack a joke on the matter, but instead sighed softly; shaking his head ruefully.

"I swear, you are so predictable sometimes…" he murmured wryly, sounding somewhat sympathetic despite the humor of his tone.

"It's not what you think," cut in Scott hastily in his defense, trying to undo the damage his blush had done.  "I'm just…used to her being around, is all.  We've been best friends since she came to the Institute, practically."

"Riiiight," was Kurt's unconvinced reply, his accent giving the word an unusual inflection.  "You know, no one around here is really that stupid, _mein freund_.  You think we don't have eyes?"

Scott, who had been avoiding the other's eyes up until this point, slowly met his friend's gaze in surprise.

Kurt was smiling a somewhat softer version of his thousand-watt grin.  Scott figured it was Kurt's version of sympathy.

"Ever try talking to her about it?"

The older mutant actually snorted derisively at that; although his face intensified its red shade somewhat.  He gazed momentarily at the blue mutant with brows raised in an expression of incredulity.

"You're telling me to _what?_" he said finally in amazement.

Kurt grinned supportively.  "Talk.  To her.  Whole new concept in boy-girl relationships."

Scott continued to stare at him with that ever-popular, 'Are you crazy?' expression.  Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized such an expression was more than likely lost on Kurt, who received such a look more times than he could count in a single day.

But somehow he couldn't get his face to form any other expression.  The downright ludicrous suggestion was just too…well, ludicrous.

Trying to find something to rearrange his facial features, he glanced the younger mutant over; and a slow scowl of disapproval came over his face as he realized that his blue friend was still perched comfortably on the nose of the ship.

And not waxing.

Scott glared at him pointedly.

Getting his drift, Kurt merely flashed his fangs in a faint smirk and leaned slightly to the side; exposing his tail, hard at work with the waxing rag.

Scott sighed in disbelief and shook his head.

"Look, man, it's like you said," continued Kurt idly, not even bothering to glance at his tail-work, "You've known each other since you were kids, _ja__?  It's obvious Jeans likes you, and it's more than obvious you like her back."_

Scott tried to cut him off with a, "What?!  It is _not_…!" but Kurt quite simply ignored him and continued on his tangent.

"…So, why don't you just tell her?  Summer vacation is the perfect chance—won't she be leaving for college to work on her doctorate in the fall?"

The X-leader stared at him in momentary surprise.  "H-hey, how'd you know…?"

Kurt shrugged absently, switching the rag to his hand and starting up another section on the X-Jet's hull.

"We've talked about these things.  She's really easy to talk to, you know.  You should give it a try."

Scott was silent for a moment, amazed despite himself over this new information.  He'd never realized Kurt and Jean had struck up such a friendship.

And he realized, abruptly, that there were a lot of things lately that surprised him about his teammates; things he hadn't known about them.  So many things around the Institute just seemed to pass him by these days.

Maybe there was some truth to everyone's accusations.

And then Scott realized he was getting relationship advice from an elf.  No offense intended.

"You're not exactly one to talk on the whole relationship thing, buddy," he spoke up pointedly, giving his friend a raised brow.

"Aren't you and Amanda on the off right now?"

A slightly pensive expression overcame Kurt's features.  "_Ja,_" he conceded with only slight reluctance, a wry smile spreading across his blue face.  "But that's a whole different situation, _mein freund_…"

"And what about you and Kitty?" added Scott, knowing that this time, he had hit home with his words.

As expected, the German's face fell abruptly.  It was brief, however, and in hardly the blink of an eye, he was grinning again cheerfully; though his grin seemed to hide a faint trace of bitterness that was not previously there.

"Heh.  Seems you're starting to realize just how alike you and I really are, _ja__?"  He pretended to be suddenly absorbed in his task, peering critically at his handiwork on the X-Jet's hull._

When he spoke again, there was a most decided trace of bitterness in his voice, although he covered it up well with his usual, wry sense of humor.

"Only real difference is unlike me, your feelings are more than likely mutual."

Scott frowned, looking sympathetic.  "Kurt…" he began gently, unsure of what to say.

The younger mutant ignored his attempts, climbing to his feet to survey his handiwork.  Grinning faintly with satisfaction, he ported with a soft BAMF! reappearing on the hangar floor.

Retrieving the wax for the X-Jet, he turned to Scott with a rakish grin.

Trademark Kurt.

"_Und that's why you should take the leap, _mein freund._"_

He ported again, and now he was on the top of the immense jet; going quickly to work once again.

"Trust me on this, man—she's not going to turn you down.  This is Jean we're talking about!"

The senior X-man couldn't help but laugh a bit at his friend's enthusiasm, even if he did seem to be avoiding another issue with his overzealous assumptions.

"And what's that supposed to mean, Dr. Phil?"

"It's supposed to mean what it's supposed to mean," was Kurt's nonplus retort, grinning mischievously.  "If you know Jean as much as you think you do, you'll understand."

He raised a brow then at his friend, mock insulted.  "Dr. Phil?  Was that the best you could come up with?"

In response, Scott scowled at him.  With a faint shrug, the blue mutant sighed hopelessly, turning back to his work.

"Well, it's a start, I guess.  But you need some lessons in humor _hardcore_, man…!"

Scott smirked, returning the expression of disbelief with a raised brow of his own.

"What, from you?  Maybe if I wanted to pick up some pointers on bad humor…"

Kurt laughed.  "Hey, now you're getting it!" he exclaimed in delight.  He gestured at the older mutant severely with his rag, a look of mock severity coming over him.  "And my humor is not bad."

"Oh, right!  You're just the epitome of comic genius, Mr. Class Clown…  Slapstick doesn't count, here, buddy."

From his perch on the X-Jet, Kurt rolled his eyes heavenward in dismay.

"Is this part of my punishment?  _Gott help me, I will never mess with your Danger Room sim again if it is…!"_

Scott just laughed.  So he would never admit it, but Kurt was good at what he did—he really was.  And that was making people laugh.  Even Scott could appreciate that to some extent.

He figured the exhibitionistic mutant didn't need his telling him in order for him to know that.

"Just keep working, buddy."

Kurt gave a jaunty salute with the rag.  "Yes, _mein Fuhrer!"_

"And if you call me that again, I'll let Logan decide what else to punish you with.  I bet he'd be pleased to know you were messing with the Danger Room again…"

"Whatever you say, _Herr_ Summers. … _verdammt__ dich…"_

"And no cursing me out in other languages, either."

"Alright.  How about in English, then?"

_"Kurt."_

"Yes, O Slave-master…!  Getting to work."

*           *           *

Scott couldn't deny that he was more than a little impressed.  Kurt had definitely gotten fast at waxing the Blackbird.

He supposed a lot of practice would do that to a person.

"So, about Duncan's party tonight…"

They were in the back halls of the mansion, now, having come up from the hangar to clean up and head their separate ways.

Scott raised a brow slightly at the query, but didn't turn to acknowledge it.  "So, what about it…?" he countered, knowing where this was headed before it had even begun.

He had heard this one a million times.  He was pretty sure he knew most of the lines by heart.

"It's officially summer vacation now, man.  You know his summer kick-off's are always big," continued Kurt with overdone nonchalance; his pale eyes devious and eager.

Scott seriously hated this argument.  There was only one way in hell anyone could get him to go to a Duncan Matthews party.

And that one reason was currently 50 miles away in good old Connecticut.

"No way in hell," he exclaimed firmly, hoping to cut off any further argument.

But this was Kurt he was dealing with.

"Aw, come ON!  It's a perfect chance for you to cut loose, man!  You NEED to cut loose!  Trust me."

"Dude, you 'n I both know there's only one reason I ever go to Duncan Matthew's parties.  There is absolutely no way you are dragging me to this one."

Kurt had a rather sly expression on his face.  "Hmm, _dragging_ you say?  That could be arranged…"

"Kurt, I'm serious—"

"And so am I!  Dude, you _need to get out.  If you keep going like this, you're going to be wound up so tight you'll be shitting bricks by the end of the summer!"_

"Ecch, think you could've used a different metaphor there, buddy?"

The younger mutant placed a firm hand on Scott's arm, halting them both in the middle of the hall.

"It's just one party," he continued, his expression almost desperately serious.  "Hell, after this summer, you're never even going to have to see Duncan again in your life!  It would be like going out with a bang, man!  The last big blowout of your high school life!  _Ach, you might not even run into Duncan, his parties are so _verdammt_ big!'_

Besides, it wouldn't be the same without you…"

The last part he said in sing-song tones, his expression almost daring the older boy to take him up on his offer.

Scott peered at him for several moments in pensive silence.  It was the mention of being a team member that really got him, as much as he hated to admit it.

The sounds of laughter and splashing from the pool drifted to the two from outside, breaking into the momentary silence that had befallen them.  Kitty's voice could be heard quite distinctly over the noise, shouting in righteous tones.

"Damnit, Bobby, like, quit icing the pool!!"

Scott looked down at his blue companion.  Kurt was looking up at him with an eager, pleading expression on his cheerful face.

"Sorry, Kurt.  The thought of another one of Matthew's parties just doesn't appeal to me as a great way to finish off my high school career."

He really did look apologetic; the look of disappointment, and then irritation on his friend's face was hard to bear, as much as he pretended it wasn't.

"You guys will just have to go without me this time," he added, brushing off Kurt's hand as gently as possible and continuing in the direction of his room.

He didn't feel quite so guilty as he was turning the corner to overhear Kurt muttering, "Party pooper…" after his retreating back like a sullen child.

It was obvious the wise-cracking elf would recover from the disappointment…

But that only gave Scott different reason to feel dispirited.

~          *           ~

TO BE CONTINUED… (WHY, OH WHY?)

*

**~ Kurt's _Wunderbar Glossary of German ~_**

_Herr_ – Mr.

_Mein Gott un Himmel_ – My God in Heaven

_Verdammt dich_ – goddamn you

**References, Homage's, etc. –******

_"…our very own modern Major-General…" :_ reference to a very fast-paced, very humorous song called "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from the play, _The Pirates of Penzance_.  Many young theater aficionados pride themselves on memorizing and or being able to quote this song; I was able to for sometime, myself.

_"Heil, mein Fuhrer!" :_ I should hope most of you would recognize this historical reference…  Not the most charming reference, but it's the allegory pledge used in Nazi Germany to address Hitler—I don't have a real translation of it, but it basically wishes good health to their leader.  Basically, Kurt uses it to imply that Scott is being a bit of a tyrant, (NOT to show Nazi support!  Oh God, no!)

_"…won't she be leaving for college to work on her doctorate in the fall?" :_ In the original _X-Men comics and animation, Jean Grey is a doctor; as well as in the movies (the students often refer to her as 'Dr. Grey'.)  Just a touch of continuity on my part._

_"Dr. Phil?  Was that the best you could come up with?" :_ I'm sure most of you have heard of the 'illustrious' Dr. Phil.  He's that psychiatrist (or some sort of mental doctor) who first appeared on _Oprah_, and now has his own show.  Scott was not only insulting Kurt's advice here, but just plain making a bad reference.

_"…currently 50 miles away in good old Connecticut." :_ Seriously, I have no frikkin' CLUE how many miles it would be from Bayville to Jean's family home!  I just threw in a number, honest-to-God.

~~~~~~X~~

Wow!!  Such a great response; and for only ONE chapter, too!  You guys are too awesome!  I'm glad this stupid, lame idea of mine was received so well, because I definitely want to continue it.

**RedLion****: Again, you are the Mistress of Support, _mein__ freund.  Thank you so much!  "One of the best X-Men writers"?!  Wow!!  I think I've just turned rainbow colors with embarrassment!_**

**PallaPlease****: Good for you, Palla!  Keep me on track!  If I do take long on an update, I'll try to explain—I just recently was having conflicts w/work and then FF.Net wouldn't let me log on or upload, so arrrggghhh!  Not my fault for the delay this time, I swear!  Yeah, I love the word 'buzz-kill'.  It's just such a fun word for some reason, so I thought I'd make someone say it and Rogue seemed like a good person to get the job done.  The fun thing when you have such a wide range of characters at your fingertips is that you can almost always find SOMEONE who will say a certain word, phrase, or make a specific action that you find funny, without it being overly OOC—that's what makes fics like these so fun.  (So why don't you like writing them?  Just curious.)**

**Girl_number_1:** Ummmm… First of all, glad you like; second of all, calm down.  It will be alright!  (And what do you mean, 'stupid Rahne'??  I likey!! *sniff*)  It's only the first chapter—and just because a character's left, doesn't mean I don't have ways of including, or getting them back.  For starters, I'm a huge Jamie fan myself—he's just soooooo darn cute and adorable and CUTE!!!—so I definitely want him in there.  I have reasons for everything, my dear (well…)  Anyway, I really liked his scene and I wanted to do that for him.  But he will probably be coming back somehow because I love him too much to not include him.  I also LOVE Evan—he's another of my favorite characters—so he should be coming back, too.  For most of the people who left, it was only for a couple weeks of the summer and only for the sake of realism—I thought a lot of their families would want them home for some of the summer, y'know.  In fact, Kitty will be going home for a bit later on, and outside of Kurt, she is my favorite character.  So just…calm down.  Breathe!  You will get your Jamie-goodness!

Last of all, though I appreciate the fact that you like the fic enough to have ideas for it, I'd just like to say right now that I don't really 'take requests'.  Most of my fics are planned out, or I at least have specific scenes and scenarios in mind that I want to use; so I don't have room or particularly wish to insert other people's ideas in there.  I'm sorry.  But thanks for the input!  Sounds like you have the makings of your own fic right there, y'know.

**Me:** OMG, I've attracted the elusive 'me' to my fic!  Dude!  I'm assuming this is the same 'me' that has left so many reviews for **LeDiz**'s fic, "I always do", am I right?  If you're not, sorry to mistake you—if you are, SO COOL!  Thanks much for the review!  I'm glad you think I've captured their characters—that feels so good, especially when you've got SO many characters to contend with!  Yikes!  And the Kurt-flirting—also very glad you like, because I have this thing about writing him just a little extra flirty ('cuz I like 'im that way and he's like that in the comics) and it would make me so sad if someone had asked me to tone it down or something.  He's just more fun this way!  So yes, you will definitely be seeing a rather flirtatious and energetic elf for the duration of this fic.  Weee!

**Kiki****: Ooh, so glad you liked that line!  I just kept on liking it more and more myself each time I read over it, lol!  I know!  Ego-maniac!  But I really did!  And it's the same with me—inspiration for it definitely came from my friends and I.  I'm sure we've said something in that vein regarding ourselves in the past—as well as my family.  My family's a pretty nutty one, and there's 7 of us, too, so it's basically a nuthouse around my house 24/7.  Big families are the greatest thing in the world—especially big, crazy, Minnesotan families.  You should hear us all at family reunions when everyone's had a little too much to drink; it's like a scene outta' _Fargo, don't'cha' know…_**

**LeDiz****: Oh, Lee, you can write humor; you just don't realize it!  And I'm so glad you like it!  Your opinion is thought so highly of in my crazy little mind!  Must…always…make…the LeDiz…Standards…!  Arrrrrggghhh!!!  *goes Super Saiyan from the force of her determination***

**Amara**** Aquilla: Like I told ****Girl_number_1, don't worry, _mein__ freund!  Amara is likely to return!  (__Ach, but you New Mutant fans are rabid on this subject…*lol*)_**

**Crow Black Dream:** Wow, thanks so much!  And I use big words?  Well, yes, I guess I see what you mean by 'in comparison to other fics'…  I am always trying to extend my vocabulary and incorporate it into my writing, so that may be the reason.  (Plus, on the whole, I think I'm a bit older than most Evo writers—at least, that's what I've seemed to notice.)  Anyway, I'm so pleased you like this enough to 'Favorite' it and all that!  I look forward to more of your reviews!

**Kurtfan5678:** Sorry, **kurtfan**, I didn't realize it was that obscure.  I think I pretty much mentioned all of the students who were leaving, though: Jean, Evan, Jamie, and Amara.  I kind of wanted to leave it all to you guys, though, so that in case I wanted to use a character for a certain scene, I wouldn't have to be breaking continuity or changing an idea because I had sent a character home.  So some other students _may_ have left; you'll know if I don't write them.  But I wanted to leave it a bit open for me to use some of them.  Sorry if that just caused confusion for you—I didn't mean for it to come out so 'messy' or obscure.

**Kurt-Ling:** Sorry, K-Ling, that this chapter wasn't all about Kurt—but he was still in it quite a bit, no?  I hope you liked him in this chapter, 'cuz I really liked writing him.  But guess what?  Chapter 3—all about him.  I'm having so much fun writing it, you wouldn't believe!

**Hotaru-sama****: *lol* Oh, believe me, Hota-sama, I know what that means!  *lol*  I think I say, "Oh, kawaii!" more than I actually say 'cute' on a regular basis—it just comes as habit these days.  If you check out my Profile, you'll see I'm a total anime NUT.  _X-Men is just one of my few American loves (the others being BtVS, LoTR, Harry Potter, Fairly Oddparents, and anything by Jhonen Vasquez: my unholy god.)  And jeez, you're already addicted?!  Girl, you might wanna' get that problem checked out—there's only been a chapter so far!!  *lol*_**

…And for all of you who wanted to know if this would contain Kurtty… I'm not telling!  *sticks tongue out* Nyah!  No, really, sorry…but I'm not gonna' this time around.  If you can't guess correctly, then…I dunno', you need a monkey and a chalupa.  (Oh, I'm just so evil…)

I will say this though, the matter of Kurtty aside, there will most likely be some "odd" and possibly some unrequited love interests in here just because it makes for good humor.  No, actually, just because my sick, sadistic mind comes up with them and would childishly wish to force them all upon you in this fic, disguised as it is to be of good taste.

Now if you'll excuse me all… Pepito keeps urging me to end this, and as he is the Spawn of Satan, I must obey.  (DAMNIT, PEPITO, YOU'RE GONNA' GET STOVETOP ON THE KEYBOARD!!  BACK OFF ALREADY!!)

Until the next chappie, my happie little meat-sacks of adoration…

~Neko-chan


	3. Is It Always The 'Crazy' Look?

Why, Oh Why… 

By Nichole (Neko-chan) Johnson

Written: June 11 – 17, 2003

Rated: PG-13 for language and plain old inappropriateness—bad me!

Disclaimer: I don't own the _X-Men_ (sob) or _X-Men: Evolution.  And most unfortunately of all, I don't own Kurt. *sniffles sullenly*_

Author's Note: Yeah, I know I didn't have quotes on the previous chapters, but I decided I just may have to throw them in there every once in awhile—especially when they fit the chapter so well.  And I just love this quote…

Anyway, say 'hello' to my not-so-little friend!  This chapter is a _beast_, everyone—enjoy!

~          o          O          o          ~

"They may be great heroes, but they sure are stiffs at parties."

- Kurt Wagner, _Classic X-Men #28_

Chapter 3: …Is It Always The 'Crazy' Look? 

The way Kurt saw it, there were always two sides to these things.

On the one hand, Scott wasn't going to be lightening up anytime soon.  And they were all most likely going to have to deal with his 'Mr. Tight-Ass' attitude for a couple of weeks, at the least (the whole summer, at the most.)

But on the other hand, Scott wasn't going to be there.  Meaning for one night at least, no Mr. Tight-Ass.

Well, well… Things were certainly looking up when you looked at things in that light.

"Well, Mr. Wagner.  You're especially…energetic this evening."

Pausing mid-cartwheel, Kurt Wagner—fuzzy, blue, acrobatic elf extraordinaire—waggled his eyebrows cheerfully at the weather witch; fangs bared in one of his trademark, Cheshire cat grins.

"_Guten abend, good _fraulein!_  Just exercising my rights as a recently liberated teenager!"_

Storm was peering at him with one of those 'disapproving adult' looks he was so used to receiving, but having a hard time concealing the warm amusement that danced in her blue eyes.  'Disapproving adult' looks were always considerably softer when coming from Ms. Monroe.  She had a way of appearing regal and yet indelibly warm, whatever the expression.

It was what Kurt liked the most about her.

"Hmm…You know how Logan feels about you using the table as a tumbling mat," commented the dark-skinned woman reprovingly, eyebrows raised in delicate disapproval.

He was still poised on one arm, torso curved over his head; legs in the air, and tail curled like a question mark.  Pushing off one-handed, he opted for a neat back flip instead of the cartwheel; landing with a small flourish and an apple in his tail; which he'd managed to liberate neatly from the fruit bowl in the midst of his acrobatics.

Tossing the apple easily to his hand, the acrobatic mutant took a generous bite out of the fruit and hopped obediently to the floor; blue face the perfect picture of apologetic innocence.

"I'm sorry, Storm.  I guess I got a little carried away with myself."

The windrider smiled warmly, blue eyes dancing delightedly.  "It's alright, Kurt.  Let's just keep the antics away from the dinner table."

The blue mutant pretended to snap to attention, saluting smartly with a tight grin.

Shaking her head lightly in amused dismay, Storm turned from the doorway, slipping back into the kitchen with a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Pleased with himself, Kurt took another bite from his apple, chewing thoughtfully.  Then with a soft BAMF! he teleported upstairs.

Kitty didn't even look up from her bed where she lay sprawled on her stomach, reading one of those tawdry romance novels whose titles were a constant source of amusement and disgust to Kurt.

"What's up, Fuzzy?" she muttered in greeting to the blue elf sitting lotus style on her roommate's bed, calmly eating an apple.

"The ceiling," was Kurt's nonplus reply amidst bites, "What else?"

The girl's nose was still buried in her book.

Kurt found himself leaning his head at an ever-increasing angle in an attempt to decipher her book's title.  Despite his amazing flexibility, all he managed to make out were the letters 'W', 'I', and 'N'.

_Wind something?  Wings?_ Kurt ruminated thoughtfully.  _Probably Wings of Passion,__ or something sappy like that, he thought with amused derision.  He stifled a giggle at the thought._

"So…?" ventured the brunette on the bed after a moment, snapping Kurt's neck back to its vertical position.

"So?" mimicked Kurt in reply, raising his brows quizzically—despite the fact that her nose was still buried in her book and the expression was more than likely lost on her.

Finally, she looked up, shooting him a pointedly questioning gaze.

"So… Did you talk to Scott? About Duncan's party?" she elaborated, a tinge of exasperation to her tone.  Her eyes were smiling however; it was one of those quirks he'd come to appreciate about her.  Kitty Rule #1: Never let Kurt know you've been amused.

A whole lot of good it did her…  I mean, he had learned to read it, after all.

Kurt pulled a properly sour expression at the mention of the X-leader and their wonderful encounter.  Sure, they had had a 'moment', if you wanted to call it that.  But in the end, Scott's tight-ass syndrome had kicked in and ruined the good mood.

He sure wished they manufactured a pill for that disease…

"_Ach.  Ja, I did—earlier today," he muttered in reply, stretching his legs out on Rogue's bed and pulling a sour face.  "Fifty points if you can guess ze answer to __that question…"_

"Aw!  Like, no way!" bemoaned Kitty, finally putting her book down in favor of their conversation.  "If Scott's like, not coming, then we've got no wheels!  He _has to come!"_

Kurt shrugged nonchalantly.  "Hey, I tried, Katzchen.  But without Jean around…"

Kitty rolled her eyes dramatically, sitting up on her bed.  "I know, I know!  He's got no reason to go."  She sighed irritably, pouting.  "It's like, so unfair…"

"You know, just because Scott's not going doesn't mean we're out of a vehicle…"

Kitty shot her friend a hasty glance, shaking her head slightly.  "Ohhhh no, Kurt!  You are _not_ stealing Scott's car!  Hello?  Waxing the X-Jet?  That ring any bells here?"

Kurt grinned brazenly in reply.  "Hey, it's not stealing.  I'll just be…liberating it for a few hours.  No problem, _liebchen!"_

The girl groaned dramatically, but Kurt couldn't help but notice the smile she was attempting to hide.

"Kurt, I swear you are hopeless!  It's not even the second day of summer vacation yet, and you're about to be punished yet _again!  Like, don't you think you should ease up just a __bit?"_

With a small bounce and a leap, the blue mutant 'ported, landing in a burst of smoke and brimstone behind her.  He grinned cheekily over her shoulder.

"Aw, where's the fun in that, _mein freund?_" he crowed brightly, giving her a jaunty wink.

Nose crinkled slightly, still waving the smoke from in front of her face, Kitty gave him a stern glance, raising a brow in disapproval.  With a mock sigh of defeat, he plopped down heavily beside her on the bed, pouting darkly.

"_Ach, alright, alright!  So Scottie's car is out of the question…" he muttered grumpily, pretending to be truly put-out on the matter.  In truth, he had never intended to pull such a risky stunt.  He wasn't stupid—he had already messed with the older boy enough for one day; he wasn't about to do something as foolish as stealing-er, borrowing the guy's car._

Then again, he hadn't completely dismissed the idea, either.

"Maybe the Professor will loan us one of his cars…" mused Kitty thoughtfully, looking highly doubtful.

Kurt grinned.  "Maybe if you signed a legal agreement to not so much as eye the steering wheel, Katzchen.  I'm sure he'd have no problem, then."

The brunette shot him a glare so vicious, it was a wonder he was still standing.

"Bite me, Wagner," she snapped haughtily.

The blue mutant only grinned further.  "Where and how hard, _mein liebling?_"

In response, she shoved his apple into his mouth and stormed to her feet.  Still grinning, Kurt took a bite from the fruit, completely nonplussed by her swift change in mood.

He pulled a face in distaste.  "Blech.  This doesn't taste so good anymore…"

"Well you shouldn't port with food, dummy," retorted Kitty, already back to her more pleasant nature.

Like he said, Kitty's moods were as unpredictable as the tides.

She had drifted over to her closet and was now half buried within it, searching its depths for god knows what.  Kurt could only guess she was trying to decide what to wear for the party.

"Anyway, we can ask the Professor tonight at that meeting of his," she was yelling to him now from the depths of her closet.

Disinterested in whatever she was doing, her elf friend picked up the discarded romance novel from her bed, glancing at it with absent disinterest as he proceeded to finish off his apple.

So what if it didn't taste all that good anymore—it was food, _got verdammt!_

"…wonder what it's about, anyway?"

Kitty was still talking, her voice somewhat muffled by clothes and her closet door.  She poked her head out, a dress in each hand; giving them both a critical glance.  Apparently dissatisfied with both choices, she disappeared back into her closet with them again.

Kurt, meanwhile, wasn't paying attention.  He was idly reading the blurb on the back cover of her book…and trying hard not to laugh out loud in the process_.  Who wrote these things, anyway?_ he thought wryly, wondering just how many times he had read the word 'passion' by now.

"…hope he's not going to tell us we have to train extra this summer.  I like, so don't…"

Flipping absently through the pages, the elf found himself close to yawning.  So far, this book seemed dull enough to bore even Scott to death.  Why in the world did Kitty and Amara find these books so interesting, anyway?

"…glad I'm technically a sophomore now."

Kitty was still going, either unaware that Kurt wasn't listening or not really caring.  Hell, it could've been a combination of both for all he knew.

Something finally caught Kurt's eye and he stopped his bored flipping.  His eyes widened for a moment in surprise, then narrowed mischievously in delight; a slow, devious grin spreading across his face as he continued to read.  Ah, so that's why the girl's read these books…  He never knew Kitty and Amara had such dirty minds.

"…was always a real jerk, but at least he knows how to throw a party…"

Kurt cleared his throat lightly, straightening where he sat; a smirk on his blue face.  _"'Heart pounding like the chorus of a thousand horse's hooves, Alexandra gazed into Damian's fiery gaze; losing herself in the deep, chocolate brown depths of his eyes.  Her breath came in short gasps as his gaze devoured her, pulling her…'"_

Kitty's voice had stopped when he'd begun to recite out loud from her book.  She pulled her head hastily out of her closet, her expression like that of a deer caught in headlights as Kurt continued to read with overdramatic pomp; clearly enjoying himself immensely.

_"'…kissed her passionately.  Alexandra's head reeled, feeling as though her feet would collapse from beneath her at the fury of his passion, but Damian's strong, muscular arms held her tightly to him…'"_

By now, Kitty's face had turned a decided shade of crimson and her eyes were nearly the size of saucers.

"Kurt, knock it off!" she demanded nervously, dashing towards him and grabbing for the book.

Chuckling deviously, the blue mutant pulled the book out of her reach and continued reading loudly, ignoring her attempts to grab the book from him.

_"'…whispering sweet nothings in her ear, his hands sliding over—"_

"Kuu-rrt!  I mean it!"

_"'…the thin material of her dress; his touch sending shivers down her spine—'"_

"Oh my God, like, stop it now, Kurt!"

Now as red as a beet, Kitty chased him angrily about the room; the acrobatic mutant managing to dance easily out of reach even as he continued to read.

"If you don't give me that book back right now, mister…!"

Kurt laughed aloud at the next lines in the book; pale eyes dancing mischievously.  "But I was just getting to the good part, Katzchen.  Ooh, it gets _really_ dirty here. You know, you have an awfully dirty mind to be reading this stuff, _liebchen…"_

Kitty's eyes flashed dangerously, a hint of fear in them.  "Kurt Wagner, don't you DARE…!!"

Poised atop Rogue's dresser, Kurt merely grinned his mad Cheshire cat grin and took a deep, preparatory breath.  _"'Alexandra's hands roved the well-defined planes of…'"_

It was obviously the last straw for Kitty, because with a sudden shout of fury, she launched herself at him.  Laughing gleefully, Kurt yelped in surprise as the two of them tumbled to the floor in a tangle of flailing limbs; the romance novel held defiantly over his head.

"Now give it back, jerk!"

"Never!"  More laughter.  "This is way too much fun, _fraulein!"_

"Oh, you little monster…!"

"Ow, watch ze elbows, _liebchen!_  Hey!"

"You deserve it, you dumbass!  H-hey!  No using your tail!"

"Uh-uh-uh, _mein liebchen!_  Say please…"

"LET ME GO, YOU DORK!!!  Arrggh!"

Phasing, the girl slipped out of his grip, and while he was still somewhat thrown off by her knee and an arm disappearing into his torso, she neatly snatched the book out of his slack hands; and still phased, danced swiftly away from him with a haughty expression.

"Now look who's cheating," he retorted teasingly, slowly picking himself up off the floor and dusting his clothes off absently.

Kitty was still flushed with embarrassment as she continued to glare at him, chin raised proudly.  

"I am like, no longer talking to you!" she exclaimed hotly, stalking to the other side of the room with her book held tightly against her chest.

"Alright then, Katzchen," he remarked cheerfully, completely nonplussed.  "See you at dinner!"

And with a BAMF! he was gone.

Tonight—was going to be a blast.

*           *           *

Perched comfortably—as Evan liked to dub 'gargoyle style'—on the back of a chair, the German-born mutant surveyed the small, motley crew that had gathered in the library; one of those sinking feelings he often got in such situations working at the pit of his stomach.

He wasn't a big fan of 'team meetings'—those often implied that either work or punishment was involved.  And he couldn't decide which they were more likely to get today.

Kurt eyed his other teammates with silent contemplation.  Scott stood several feet away, arms crossed; seemingly avoiding eye contact with the blue mutant, but otherwise acting fairly normal.  Some feet away from him, Kitty was busy giving the team leader a glaring pout; Kurt was pretty sure she had forgiven him for the romance novel incident, but apparently, she hadn't quite forgiven Scott for his refusal to accompany the rest of them to Duncan's party tonight.

The girl worked in mysterious ways.

Slouched carelessly in a chair at the other side of the room, her usual air of detachment about her was Rogue; and standing a little off from her chair was Bobby, who was fidgeting slightly in what Kurt supposed to be excitement.  It was one of the first times he had been included in one of these meetings, and knowing how eager the boy always was to be included on X-Men matters, it was no wonder he seemed a bit antsy.

Kurt couldn't help but be a bit amused by his naivete.

"Well, now that you're all here, let me just assure you, none of you are in trouble," spoke up Xavier's voice warmly as he wheeled calmly into the room, followed by Logan and Storm.  Kurt caught the hint of amusement in the telepath's tone, and the quick glance in his direction; and he smiled faintly, just a bit sheepish, at the implications.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Kitty glancing pointedly in his direction as well.  He shot her a mock hurt expression for it.

"So all of you may relax," continued the Professor gently, glancing about the small assembly; his gaze falling longest on Scott.  "I merely wished to share with you some news that all of you may find promising."

Suddenly, Kurt was all ears.  He straightened up eagerly on his chair, his previously swishing tail freezing expectantly for a moment and then resuming its impatient fidgeting at a more eager pace.

"What is it, Professor?" spoke up Scott curiously for all of them, his interest looking piqued as well.

The Professor clasped his hands neatly in his lap, smiling gently at those gathered.  "This summer, the Institute has received an invitation from the Daniels family to join them for a week at their family cabin in upstate New York, for a change of scenery and some relaxation."

"Evan's parents?" queried Kitty, looking excited.

"Wait, what do you mean, 'the Institute', Professor?" broke in Scott hastily, frowning faintly.  "Do you mean all of us?"

"Unfortunately, no, Scott," replied the Professor mildly, looking slightly apologetic.  "Seeing as how it is their family cabin, there is only so much room available.  It will only be you older students who will be going."

He smiled warmly, inclining his head.  "Think of it as a reward for all of your hard work in training, my students."

"Alright!" whooped Kurt suddenly, pumping a fist triumphantly into the air and startling those present.

He seemed to break the mood of calm attention, as the others dissolved into eager murmurs and smiles of anticipation over the Professor's news.  Xavier, Logan and Storm watched over this all with mild expressions of amusement.

"Like, no wonder Evan was being so secretive this week…" murmured Kitty musingly, grinning excitedly at her teammates.

"You mean I get to come, too?" Bobby was exclaiming incredulously, looking about ready to burst.

With a BAMF! Kurt was at the ice-mutant's side, throwing a friendly arm about his shoulders.  

"Hey, it's only fair that the unofficial leader of ze newbie's should be included, _ja?  You earned it, man!"_

Clenching his fists excitedly, the younger mutant drove an iced fist into the air with a small whoop of joy.  "Woo-hoo!  Al-RIGHT!" he crowed joyously, echoing the blue mutant's earlier cry of joy.

Kurt grinned brightly, then teleporting across the room, caught Kitty in a playful hug and spun her about the room; to the auburn-haired girl's own delighted giggles.  They proceeded to spin a merry waltz about the room then, dragging a surprisingly willing Rogue into their cavorting as they passed her chair.

"This is going to be the best summer ever!" crowed Kurt delightedly.

Kitty, and even Rogue, laughed in agreement.

"Hey, you said it, Fuzzy!"

*           *           *

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Maaar-co!"

"Poooo-lo!"

Kurt grinned lightly at the spectacle from where he stood, leaning lazily against the banister in the expansive foyer.  He watched in silent amusement as Sam shuffled hesitantly about the room, waving his arms before him like a blind-man.  Dancing just out of reach, Jubilee and Ray were attempting—in vain—to stifle their snickers of amusement as they deftly avoided his flailing arms.

"MAR-co!" demanded Sam, sounding just a tad impatient.  He swiped viciously at the air with one arm, nearly losing his balance as his attack met with nothing but air.

"PO-lo!" chorused Ray and Jubilee in reply.  Grinning maniacally, they each poked the boy in the back, then dashed quickly out of harm's reach as Sam spun wildly about; flailing his arms helplessly in search of his assailants.

Kurt chuckled softly to himself, clearly amused by the display.  If he didn't already have plans of his own, he may have joined the game himself.

Reminded suddenly of why he was waiting, the elf chanced a glance at his multi-functional wristwatch, frowning faintly with impatience.

Why on earth did girls always take so long to get ready?

Twirling the car keys in his hand idly, he glanced impatiently up the long flight of stairs.  _"Wille sie hast oben, frauleine…"_

"Aw, man, are they still not ready?" bemoaned Bobby as he appeared from one of the side corridors, checking his own watch irritably.  "Girls take forever!"

The younger mutant was looking rather spiffed out for the night, in a white button-up tee and what appeared to be new, dark khaki slacks.  Abstract blue patterning crawled up over the shirt's shoulders and sleeves; suspiciously resembling the delicate ice that was the boy's mutant namesake.

Kurt cast a cursory glance over his own ensemble, tugging absently at the hem of his black button-up and dusting some imaginary lint off of his light-colored cargos.  It had only taken him a total of ten minutes to get ready.  Well, maybe fifteen if you included the quick once-over with his Opa's wonderful antique brushes.

But regardless, it hadn't taken him or Bobby very long.  So why _un himmel_ was it taking Kitty and Rogue nearly an hour, he wondered.

To Bobby, he merely shrugged with an air of detached boredom, still absently watching the game of 'Marco Polo' going on nearby.

"That, _mein freund_, is merely part of the great feminine mystique—and I don't refer to that evil, blue, shape-shifting mother of mine, here."

"Whatever," scoffed Bobby, taking up position on the opposite side of the staircase.  "I just hope they'll hurry it up.  This is my first time going to one of these things and I don't wanna' be late."

To this, Kurt grinned roguishly, flashing his fangs slyly.  "Ah, my dear _Herr Drake… Lesson the first in the party world: one can never be late.  Fashionably late, yes—late, no.  And in the case of a Duncan Matthews party, the later you are, the better."_

"That's good to know," muttered Bobby in reply, glancing at his watch once again, "Because at the rate we're going, we're going to be the Versace of the party world…"

There was a telltale swish of cloth from the top of the staircase, followed by a throat being cleared politely and both boys looked up at the noise.

"Sorry to keep you boys waitin'," drawled Rogue lazily as she descended the stairs with her usual air of disinterest.  "But Ms. Perfect here insisted on takin' as long as poss'ble in the bathroom."

Wearing just as much make-up as usual, the Goth was decked out in her favorite party-wear ensemble of long skirt, silk scarf, and chain-link belt.  Per usual, everything was of a dark shade.

Behind her, Kitty followed at a more leisurely pace, grinning almost shyly at the two boys; probably due to Bobby's slack-jawed, gaping gaze.  The younger, more petite girl was wearing a knee-length denim skirt and a sleeveless, light blue blouse with a modest décolletage of some indecipherably patterned fabric.

But the most striking thing about her was her hair, which instead of being in it's perpetual, bobbing ponytail, lay loose about her shoulders in thick, abundant auburn waves.  Kurt had never realized just how long her hair really was.

Bobby continued to gape comically.  Amused by the other boy's lack of composure, the German gave him a sidelong glance and smirked faintly.  Surreptitiously, he lifted Bobby's chin with his tail; snapping the younger boy's mouth closed with an audible click.

Seemingly oblivious, the boy continued to stare disbelievingly.

Offering his elbow gallantly to his sister, Kurt grinned dashingly at Rogue.  "Shall we go, _mein liebe?" he teased._

The southern girl smirked faintly at him, raising a brow sardonically.  "What're you playin' at, Fuzzy?"

She shook his arm off good-naturedly, pushing him lightly in Kitty's direction.  "You play your silly gentleman games with the Kitty-Cat over there.  I'm walkin' on mah own!"

Swinging her arms as if in a huff, she shot one last smirking glance in his direction and then strode purposely toward the doors.  She returned a moment later, grabbing Bobby roughly by the elbow—still frozen in shock—and hauled him unceremoniously after her.

Kurt grinned in amusement after her retreating back, raising a brow appreciatively at the display.  Then turning back to Kitty, he offered her his elbow instead, lifting his brows entreatingly.

"Well, Katzchen?  I suppose we've kept _Herr Drake waiting long enough for this party, _ja?_"_

She grinned pleasantly, taking the proffered arm with just as much dramatics as he.  "Lead the way, Fuzzy!"

Sharing a giggle, they moved unhurriedly after their comrades; glancing with idle interest after the game of 'Marco Polo' still being played out around them.

"Isn't that supposed to be a water game?" remarked Kitty curiously.

"If you call it 'Water Polo'."  The blue mutant's expression turned suddenly mischievous.  "Hey, Sam, to your right, _mein freund!"_

There was an angry shout from Jubilee, followed by a shout of triumph on Sam's part, and then Kurt wisely ported Kitty and himself away before Jubilee could enact her revenge.

Sprawled in the back seat of the jeep Professor Xavier had lent them for the night, Rogue didn't even blink at the sudden entrance, though Bobby seemed slightly taken aback.

"What took ya so long?"

From the passenger seat, Kitty giggled faintly, while Kurt hurriedly started up the vehicle.  Shooting the Goth an innocent grin, he backed out swiftly, obviously in a hurry.

"Oh, just finishing up a game of 'Marco Polo'…" was his off-hand reply as they tore out of the Institute's drive.

Kitty broke into louder giggling, and from the front steps, Jubilee and Ray could be heard shouting angrily after them.

Tearing through the Institute's open gates, Kurt, Kitty, and Bobby whooped loudly with glee.  They were ready to party.

From the back seat, Rogue merely shook her head in dismay and smiled faintly.

*           *           *

It was true that Duncan Matthews was a jock, and a jerk, and definitely not the brightest crayon in the box…and what Jean even saw in him, Kurt couldn't even fathom.  But one thing was for certain: Duncan Matthews knew how to party.

And tonight's shindig was no exception.

"Whoa," Bobby muttered glibly as they entered the room, simply stopping to take it all in for a moment.

His teammates merely nodded numbly, echoing the exclamation.

"He really went all out this year!" shouted Kitty over the din, looking around in impressed amazement at the spread and the unbelievable mass of people.

The majority of said mass were in the open area of the room, which served as the dance floor; dancing like there was no tomorrow to the obnoxious sort of music that was to be expected at such a party as this.

"Well, what did you expect?!" shouted back Kurt, "He did graduate this year!  Last party of his high school life—gotta' live it up, _ja?_"

Rogue was giving the entire room a distasteful look; Kurt just knew she was trying to figure out how she was supposed to troll the sidelines like any self-respected Goth in a crowd such as this.

"I would say Scott would be disappointed he missed this," she drawled loudly over the din, pulling a sour expression, "But you know he wouldn't."

Kurt shot her a devilish grin; somewhat lacking without those characteristic fangs.  There really were some downsides to his holographic image.

"Well, his loss!" he shouted, taking Kitty's arm and pulling her into the crowd with him.

"Wait, man!" shouted Bobby, grabbing his free arm hastily.  "I've never been to one of these things!  You gotta' clue me in—like what are the rules 'n all?"

The German gave him a broad grin, spreading his arm in an expansive gesture.  "Zhere are no rules, man!  What do I look like—Cyke?!  Party till you drop, bro!"

Kitty frowned prettily.  "Kurt!" she exclaimed with slight disapproval.  She turned to Bobby.  "Just…watch out for the jocks.  They can get pretty nasty when they're like, drunk 'n all."

She cringed slightly, as if ashamed of what she was going to say next.  "And um…try not to drink too much…"

Bobby's eyes widened like saucers.  "There's BOOZE here?!"

Kurt smirked at the sudden mischievous look in the younger boy's eyes, and clapped him roughly on the shoulder.  "Yep!  Now, play nice and don't get too smashed, _mein freund!"_

"Kuuurt!"

_"Was?!"_

Already getting into the swing of things, Bobby gave the two of them a jaunty thumbs-up.  "Gotcha'!"

His eyes scanned the crowd for a moment, and then lit up with mischievous delight.  "Ooh, hottie from my chem class…  Check ya guys later!"

With that, he slipped quickly through the crowd.

With a dismissive wave of her hand, Rogue skirted the crowd, heading for the less populated side of the room.

Kurt was suddenly aware of Kitty tugging urgently at his arm.  Grinning at her, he followed her into the crowd as well, until they found a clear enough section of the dance floor where they could really get down.

The music was terrible, in Kurt's opinion; on his own time, he would never listen to the kind of stuff that was being played.  But in the environment they were in, it was just perfect for really letting loose, which was exactly what Kurt planned to do.

They danced for about three songs, Kurt somehow magically avoiding contact with any of the other people on the dance floor; an ability that tied in with his powers and kept him aware of his surroundings at all times.  He had spaced a couple of times while watching Kitty dance, which was understandable because boy, could that girl DANCE!  It was almost hypnotizing at times.  But Kurt was always one for keeping himself in control and so far, he had yet to slip up.

But after the third song, he could feel his concentration waning, and he decided it was about time he hit the refreshment table to replenish his hyperactive metabolism.  Dancing—and maintaining control of his facilities around Kitty's enthusiasm—could be just as draining as teleporting, it seemed.

"Gotta' refuel, _liebchen!"_ he shouted over the din, gesturing in the direction of the refreshments as he began sidling his way out of the crowd.

There really was an advantage to his height, he decided.  At this level, he only had to worry about brushing up against clothing—not bare skin.

Of course, that required some clever maneuvering on his part to avoid the mini-skirt clad girls in the crowd.  Much to his own displeasure.

Kitty nodded in understanding as he went, waving him away and going back to her dancing.  The girl seemed to have invisible energy stores when it came to dancing.  I mean, where did it all come from, anyway?  She certainly didn't eat like _he did._

He finally managed to make it to the refreshment table without any mishaps—much to his relief.  As much as he liked wild parties like this, it was difficult to avoid detection in such a tight-knit crowd.

And Scott and the Professor would kill him if he gave himself away in such an ignominious fashion.  And he knew that's what they would call it, too—ignominious.  It would be just like them to choose such a big word to make him feel guilty.

Eyes shining ravenously at the spread before him, Kurt began to tuck in with little ceremony, glad that the majority of the party guests were too busy dancing and boozing it up to notice his monopoly of the refreshment table.

Hey, what could he say?  It took a lot to fuel that motor of his!  The guy was like a car with bad gas mileage; that was for sure.

He was beginning to slow down a bit, and his eyes roved the party crowd with curiosity as he snacked.  After awhile, he spotted Bobby over in the corner chatting with studied nonchalance with a rather good-looking freshman girl.  A small group of girls stood nearby, supposedly the girl's friends, and they were eyeing the couple covertly; a chorus of giggling.

Searching the crowd some more, he finally spotted Rogue standing along one of the far walls, glass of punch in hand; a look of classic boredom displayed artfully on her face.  Occasionally she would turn to her friend Risty—who was standing nearby, dancing a bit to the music—and comment on something, eyeing the crowd distastefully.

Kurt smiled to himself in amusement.  It was clear the Goth was enjoying herself, in her own bizarre fashion.

His eyes continued to rove the crowd a bit; past a trio of drunken jocks who were practicing their belching and having a can crushing contest on their foreheads, on past an even drunker group having a clumsy sword fight with pool cues, and skipping over a small gaggle of girls who seemed to be giving him a strange slack-jawed expression.  In unison, they all looked disbelievingly down at their drink glasses for a moment, then back at him.

Kurt furrowed his brows in confusion and moved on, figuring they were all on some sort of hallucinogen for the first time.

The crowd parted momentarily as a burly football player clad only in his boxers dashed through the room, football jersey tied turban-style to his head.  A few seconds later, two of his fellow teammates followed, looking apologetic.  From somewhere in the middle of the room, Duncan and a few of his friends made catcalls at the spectacle, then went back to their schmoozing.

Kurt ignored the football players, his attention suddenly riveted on someone on the far side of the room.

_Ach!  Not here…_he thought in frustration, as the girl's eyes met his momentarily from across the expanse.

Amanda.

Neither made any sign of recognition, though there was no denying they had seen one another.  And after a moment, Amanda dismissed herself from the girl she had been talking to, and grabbing a nearby guy's arm, drug him out onto the dance floor as if she hadn't even seen Kurt there at all.

Kurt smirked humorlessly, crossing his arms lightly as he turned from the display in favor of idly searching the rest of the crowd.  Obviously, she was still mad at him.

Which suited him just fine.  He was still mad at her, too.

_I think…_

Ignoring the fact that he had no idea what they were fighting over anymore, Kurt pushed himself back through the crowd in search of Kitty.

He was stopped suddenly, however, by a jock holding his arm out to him, a plastic punch glass in hand.  The guy seemed a bit unstable as he grinned stupidly at Kurt.

Kurt arched a brow impatiently at him.  _"Ja?"_

"Dude, you wanna' drink?" slurred the jock, still grinning idiotically; bobbing his head absently to the music.

Kurt shrugged casually, taking the proffered glass.  It wasn't like he was unused to drinking or anything—he had drunk plenty of times when he still lived in Germany.  He appreciated a good beer every once in awhile, just as much as the next guy.

So basically, what the hell?

Turning away to ditch the drunken jock, he took a swig from the glass.  And nearly choked in disgust.

"_Schiesse!  What the hell is this?!"_

Stupid grin gone—but not the stupid look—the jock stared at him uncomprehendingly.  "Uh, beer," he replied slowly, blinking stupidly.  "Duh, dude," he added on afterthought, still looking lost.

Kurt made a purely disgusted face at his glass, then glared disparagingly at the idiotic jock.

"Dude, you call this stuff BEER?!  We'd call it _pißwasser where I come from!"_

The jock continued to gaze at him without comprehension, as if the fact that it tasted bad simply didn't register with his sense of logic.  Which it probably didn't.

After another moment of glaring, Kurt gave a small sigh of frustration, and tossing back the remainder of the vile liquid, handed the drunk his empty cup.

"_Ach!  Give me another."_

Now this, the drunk understood.  Grinning idiotically, he filled the plastic cup to overflowing from the keg behind him and handed it back to Kurt with a whoop of encouragement.

"Yeah!  Party on, dude!!"

Rolling his eyes and taking another generous swig from the glass, Kurt disappeared back into the crowd, muttering irritably under his breath.  _"Scheisse-gesicht dummkopf…"_

After very little searching, he spotted Kitty near the other side of the room.  Apparently, she had finally managed to tire herself out and had decided to take a rest.  He was moving towards her at a leisurely pace, when he froze suddenly, spotting who she was with.

Lance.

Glancing about for a safe place to stand, he sidled out of the crowd of dancers on the floor; still watching the two out of the corner of his eye as he went to stand out of the way along the wall of expansive windows that overlooked the pool.

He remembered that Kitty had been complaining of some trouble with Lance lately, just as he'd been having some trouble with Amanda, so he wasn't about to interrupt.  He decided he would give them some room.

_Maybe Bobby wants to dance…_he mused jokingly to himself, going back to scanning the crowd—and trying not to feel like a spy and an eavesdropper.

Because he could still somewhat hear Kitty and Lance from where he stood.  And he was pretty sure they were arguing.

"…like, don't want to talk about this right now, okay?"

Kurt hummed nervously to himself.  His piss-water was suddenly very interesting…

"No.  We have to talk.  I saw you dancin' with freak-boy earlier…"

"…making a scene.  He is like, my best friend, you know!  Besides, I can dance with whoever I want, _Mister_ Alvers!"

Kurt decided he should hum just a bit louder.  And maybe move a little further _this_ way…

"…can't just blow me off like that, Pretty Kitty!"

Whistling was looking like a good idea right now.

"Like, let go of me, Lance!  Uggh, have you been drinking?!"

Okay, the whistling didn't seem to be working.  Kurt wondered if it would be a bit too obvious if he just plugged his ears.

"…has nothing to do with it!  Come on—let's go some place quiet where we can talk about this in private."

As much as he hated to admit it, Kurt was listening rather intently by now.  Kitty was his friend, after all—his best friend, really—and as supportive as he was of her and Lance's relationship, it was no real secret that he'd never liked the guy.

…Hated him, in fact.

…Would love to see his insides torn out by wild pumas and his face eaten off by wild, zoo-escaped orangutans.

Therefore, he couldn't help but feel just a little protective when the Brotherhood leader started talking in such a threatening manner.

He had to strain a bit this time to hear Kitty's reply, but even at this distance, he could sense the icy nature of her tone.

"…going nowhere with you, Lance Alvers.  You're obviously trashed, so I have nothing to say to you right now.  Maybe when you've sobered up, we'll talk.  But right now, I need to find my friends.  And you need to be leaving me alone."

Kurt whistled appreciatively under his breath, smirking proudly.  _That's_ mein _Katzchen…_

He glanced back at the pair, just in time to see Kitty angrily turn her back on the leader of the Brotherhood and walk away.  Lance seemed too busy practicing his fish-out-of-water routine in order to object.

Kurt managed to intercept the girl somewhere in the crowd.  She turned, startled and wild-eyed when he touched her arm lightly; but seeing it was him, calmed down somewhat, even flashing him a watered, thankful smile.

"Sorry," he exclaimed, smiling faintly, "Didn't mean to startle you, Katzchen.  _Sie gut?"_

She nodded absently, slowly regaining her earlier carefree demeanor.  "I'm fine.  I just…ran into Lance, is all."

Kurt smiled sympathetically.  "_Ja.  I saw Amanda, too."_

Kitty sighed in annoyance, hugging herself slightly.  "Man, relationships really suck, y'know?"

Her German friend shrugged lightly in reply, eyes dancing mischievously.  "Aw, I don't know about that, Katzchen.  Our relationship seems pretty non-sucky…"

The brunette stared at him with her unfathomable blue gaze for a long moment, giving him the classic 'You have got to be kidding me?' expression that he adored only when coming from her.  Then slowly, she began shaking her head in dismay.

"Seriousness is like, a disease to you, isn't it?" she spoke suddenly, a small smile cracking through her disbelieving and disapproving expression.

Nodding in agreement and grasping her arm gently, he steered her towards the dance floor; his old grin returning.

"_Und now that you know my secret, I will have to bribe you for your silence.  Such a weakness could prove fatal around a foe such as Scott or __Herr Logan, so I must remain en guard against such treachery at all times, _mein liebchen."__

Kitty sighed, shaking her head lightly.  "Oh?  And what kind of bribery were you planning?"

Handing his unpleasant drink to a random passerby, Kurt inclined his head roguishly.  "The best kind, _liebling.  Shall we dance?"_

Kitty laughed, eagerly taking her friend's hands and dragging him out onto the dance floor.

"Now that's my kind of bribery…!"

~          *           ~

TO BE CONTINUED… (WHY, OH WHY?)

*

**~ Kurt's _Wunderbar Glossary of German ~_**

_Guten abend_ – Good evening

_Got verdammt_ – strong way of saying 'God Damnit'

_Wille sie hast oben, frauleine_ – Will you hurry up, ladies

_Un himmel_ – in Heaven

_Pißwasser_ – piss-water

_Scheisse-gesicht dummkopf_ – shit-faced idiot  (My, Kurt really seems to have a potty-mouth in this chapter…)

_Sie gut?_ – You alright?

**References, Homage's, etc. –**

_"Probably _Wings of Passion,_ or something sappy like that…"_ : I completely made this title up, except for the fact that I'm sure such a novel exists.  But I haven't read it.  So all the supposed 'excerpts' Kurt reads from it are fake and completely from my own, non-romance-novel mind.  (That's why they're so horribly BAD.)

_"…It's not even the second day of summer vacation yet, and you're about to be punished yet _again!" : Not really a reference, exactly, but I couldn't help but have the Weasley twins (_Harry Potter_) in mind while writing this part, so I'll consider it a bit of a homage.  It just sounds like one of poor Mrs. Weasley's exasperated tirades.  Hmm, maybe I'll have Kurt or another of the boys blow up a toilet later on just for fun—send one of the girls a toilet seat as a memento…

_"Where and how hard,_ mein liebling?" : Don't know where I originally heard this, but my friends and I use this one all the time (well, minus the German…)  True smart-ass, that.

_"…Kitty's moods were as unpredictable as the tides."_ : Vague reference to the famous dramatic (not really romantic, though) novel, _Prince of Tides_, by Pat Conroy.

_"So what if it didn't taste all that good anymore—it was food, _got verdammt!" : Heh.  This is my argument basically anytime someone calls me on eating something that's possibly bad—mostly in the case of candy.  You know the 10-second rule?  I believe in the 2-minute rule.  Get the idea?

_"…surveyed the small, motley crew…"_ : Just a little play on words that happens to sound amusingly like a certain clothing line.

_"The girl worked in mysterious ways."_ : A play on the song lyrics, "She moves in mysterious ways" from the old song by U2.

_"…with his Opa's wonderful antique brushes."_ : Just paying homage to **InterNutter**,** LeDiz, ****Kiki, and any other author's fics who make mention of the special brushes Kurt got from his grandfather in Germany—I'm pretty sure they're only referenced in fanfics, but I don't know who started it.**

_"…going to be the Versace of the party world…"_ : A famous, high-fashion clothing designer.  Going with Kurt's fashion analogy, Bobby's implying that they're going to be about as cool as you can get by the time they make it to the party.

_"…the Goth was decked out in her favorite party-wear ensemble of long skirt, silk scarf, and chain-link belt."_ : As seen in "Power Surge", season 2.  As an enthusiast of just about every style of fashion, I really liked this outfit and thought she should wear it more often.

_"…her hair…lay loose about her shoulders in thick, abundant auburn waves."_ : For those of you who haven't seen the original Kitty, you don't know what you're missing.  Her hair is so freakin' gorgeous!  (Of course, she's drawn that way, but that's beside the point.)  I'll gladly send a pic to any of you who should so request!

_"Surreptitiously, he lifted Bobby's chin…snapping the younger boy's mouth closed with an audible click." _: I'm sure I've seen this in various places, but the most memorable has to be Dimitri and Vladimir in _Anastasia_ (one of my all-time favorite movies.)  Yes, without the tail, of course!  You get my drift.  (I think it's also in _The Little Mermaid_—remember Sebastian?)

_"…the jeep Professor Xavier had lent them for the night…"_ : This is definitely not the same vehicle they took to the beach in "The Cauldron—Pt. 1".  Sorry, people, as funny as it would be, I am NOT having them drive a hummer to the party…!  (And it would be funny, too.  It was damn funny in that episode!)

~~~~~~~X~~

Whoa!  Not only was this chapter pretty damn long, (15 pages, not including my notes at the end) but there were a lot more references than I thought!  Whew!

So I severely apologize for this, but I'm going to leave the individual thanks for the next chapter.  It would just be waaay too long if I included that right now!  But just know that I've so enjoyed all of your reviews so far—especially for this last chapter!  All of you had such wonderful things to say, and also some rather comical comments, as well!  Most of all, thank you to my regulars—only 2 chapters in, and some of you have already struck up a sort of 'conversation' with me through your reviews!  Regulars are the best sorts of reviewers!  You are all the best bunch of reviewers a fan-author could possibly have!

Until Chapter 4, everybody—_adieu!_

~Neko-chan


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